gingerhaze:

Sorry Leggy, you know I love you

FOR THE BEER

but not an address

MY PHONE WORKS

but has no signal

I HAVE A BED

but do not sleep

MY FAN BLOWS

but does not cool

MY DOOR SPIDERS

…

OH GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE

Yaaaaaaay.

Well not quite yet, i’ve still got about half a month before things kick into gear. But still, living in town where will be a student… am student.

Also, in credit to one of my more serious character flaws… a yo momma joke.

http://pics.kuvaton.com/kuvei/skydiving_accident.jpg

Canada was fun and natury and stuff. Also the people were nice. But now I am back in the country of my birth. It is nice to have a cell phone that works again. I am stoked. On to salem!

Also my car is doing great. My car is the best car.

So while procrastinating over packing up the last of my stuff to leave for the next part of my life tomorrow morning I decided to finish watching the first season of the anime Darker than Black, which I had recently discovered. Let me just say, that was the biggest cocktease of an ending that I have ever witnessed. Dayum. On the other hand I like how they dealt with the idea of genocide, and that the two main characters didn’t quite fall into that lovey dovey romance thing that so often happens.

stoleabluebox:

I’m just like:

 

I think if modern food experiences have taught me anything, it is to seek out taco trucks wherever I go.

For some reason the truth of what I am doing has chosen this moment to clarify itself in my mind. As I clean and pack my things I stumble around the house in a tired daze seeking out the nooks and crevices that contain the detritus of my life here for the past 12 years. I have always known that these mementos existed, what they were, and where they hid. But I ignored them, safe and content in the knowledge that their position was eternal. They stood as moments frozen in time for me to return to should the desire, or need, arise. Bits of my childhood, a time I look back on with envy for its relative simplicity and happiness, stashed all over the house waiting for the day when I would call them home.

Today is that day, and I have betrayed them all. I have called them all home, but in a way that none were expecting. Instead of seeking them out to relive past times, I have called them out to be placed in a garbage sack to be thrown out and removed from my life. In the process of getting ready to move, packing, and organizing for this next stage in my life I am doing something unthinkable. I destroy the pockets of my childhood, the physical objects tied with so many memories, one by one. Hunting them down through the house to be removed forever.

The wise man may say, “But you have only put them in the trash, surely to regain what is lost all you have to do is pull them out again before garbage collection day.” But this is not quite true. It is the act of throwing them away that destroys them, the thought of it, even though the mementos sit only a few feet away from me at this very moment, they are gone.

I ask myself amidst this act of destruction… “What are you doing?” and I wonder if this is the right thing to do. Am I living well by doing this, for it is surely not necessary?

I do not know. What I do know is that it hurts. Childhood memories, happy memories, dredged up as I find these stashes of history a moment before they are expunged. Whether good or bad the severing and removal of physical artifacts will ensure that some memories will fade away forever. That loss… means a lot to me. Something that I was the caretaker of will fade away. And yet… the specific memories are only important to me, and if I forget them how important were they?

Once more, I do not know. All I can say now is that I am moving forward, excitement, trepidation and all.

I am seriously ready to curl into a ball and lose consciousness, but I can’t let my brain win, I can’t. I must persevere. There’s still so much packing and sorting I can get done today, I’m so close to wrapping things up I can feel it. Also law school information has like the worst mail timing ever. Way to hit a guy when he’s down :<. Thanks for reminding me that I’ll soon be inundated with classes and work.

Note to self: Buy more cd wallet things, also milk. Miiiiilk.